What is the importance of values in our relationships? What is relationship? How relationships exist? The exchange of energy through our thoughts. Beyond words and actions; the feelings and emotions which we exchange are the things which connect our relationships. Not only the love, respect, faith, care, mercy etc. but also irritation, complaint, anger, hatred all these things are exchanged without essential care.
For example, take one relationship – husband wife relationship – the most important corporeal relationship made by human being. Two people, who did not know each other, decide to know and share each other. If life is a colourful picture, the feelings and emotions are the colours which we use. Here love and respect are the first colours used. Affection, care, then expectations, if expectations not get fulfilled then disappointment, disappointments comes out as complaints. It can lead to grumble, hatred and even revenge – the wrong combination of colours.
Why these colour changes are not noticed by us! This is something which we should understand in life. Before dipping the brush to the colour, if you knew it is wrong colour, you can change the decision. If we realise after dipping the brush also you can wash in water. But After drawing cris and cross line what we will do? Then only the dull colour of desperateness and the dark colour of guilt will make the picture unpleasant.
What about the children who grow seeing this. They may fear certain colours. Or they may choose a few only which will be insufficient. They may not become able to choose the colours in correct proportion leads to emotional immaturity.
When people give excess importance to grievances and condemning, the colours of acceptance tolerance and patience become inadequate. The reason for this is that at a stage people lose the visualization of the picture they are drawing. The interest and enjoyment in and choice of these colours dreadfully connected to time or age. We should understand this intelligently. For many people lack of this knowledge also make life a hell of boredom.
The solvent which is used to mix all these colours is the same thing – love.
For example the love and fondness before marriage transforms to sharing and caring after marriage. But when become parent colours of responsibility and dedication becomes important. Again when the family grows the colours of co-operation and happiness makes the picture of life more beautiful. The solvent which is used to mix all these colours is the same thing – love.
If we just observe around us we can see certain examples for using the above colours in wrong proportion. Share and care are misunderstood as selfishness and possession. When one believes that his picture is only for himself to enjoy, others feel displeasure on it. When it is time to add colours of responsibility & dedication if the lust and romance remain in higher proportion the solvent of pure love become contaminated and produce another wrong colour of immaturity. It spread the dullness of selfishness and ignorance again. When dissolved in immaturity the co-operation and happiness fade off; inferiority, domination and pretencewill be the remaining colours. Then the picture become ugly and feel like stop painting or spoil the canvas.
We include all these above colours in the group of ‘emotions’ in the language of psychology. But in spirituality the basic virtues of soul like peace, love, and happiness are called ‘feelings’. The negative things like sadness, anger, hatred are called ‘emotions’ which are produced when the body consciousness overpower the soul consciousness.
Every moment of our life chose the colour combinations the feelings of our mind consciously in our relationships. Let our lives be a beautiful picture we enjoy, others enjoy and gaining the special attention from God.
But let us define the virtues in the category “values” – the colours which make our life – personal life, family life and social life – beautiful. In the darkness of ignorance many are not able to enjoy these colours. Many are ignorant on their own life, what they want in life, how to use these beautiful colours in life etc. The reason is very simple. Not spending time to think about the self. Every moment of our life chose the colour combinations the feelings of our mind consciously in our relationships. Let our lives be a beautiful picture we enjoy, others enjoy and gaining the special attention from God. When we choose the colours of compassion, patience, happiness, contentment and self-sovereignty, God adds to it peace, bliss and power and we become able to enjoy every moment. The happiness unlimited!